God is merciful and gracious yet a God of justice. He knows what you need to enable you to be the best. He will bring you to the place of total submission so that you may receive His best. The flesh will want to work it out in its own way. The Spirit will work through in His way. His way is not hard. His yoke is easy and His burden light. Yet you prefer to carry the burden of your life and do it your way. God will allow this till you come to the place of surrender. This is the place to be detached from all earthly attachments and be fully immersed in the Lord. This is the place of death to the flesh life. What freedom and release do you experience when you come to this place of death. Yes, death is the ultimate freedom you will experience in the flesh. This is why Paul said he would rather be in heaven than in the world. Those who faced trials in the flesh also want to be free and so are not afraid of death. Till then you have to daily choose to die that you may live. Die to the flesh and live in the spirit. This is the only way to abide in Christ
I worked as a Consultant Psychiatrist in UK and Australia for over 40 years.